Sunday.

Sundays are an important day in our family. We go to church (most important), do ALL of our laundry, and spend time together. They also tend to be the most frustrating, stressful and crazy day of the week. I usually turn into a crazy psycho woman trying to get all of the laundry ready to go down to the van, get the kids dressed and fed, dress myself and get myself ready, pack the diaper bag....eat something myself...ahhhh! It is total chaos. As the day goes on the kids are more agitated, sleep deprived and hungry and it usually sends me into a fit trying to get them to go down for a nap after their 10min catnap in the car on the way home. Lunch is at a weird time, sometimes at 2 or later, and there is piles and piles of laundry to fold and put away. I love Sunday, and I hate it. I wish there was a better way, but morning church is just hard on babies and kids (and their mommies). It is 3:50pm right now, Autumn has not had a nap all day, and has been fussing in her bed on and off for 2hrs without sleeping. Hannah has been up and down playing with toys and screaming "I'm not sleepy!" as she yawns and rubs her eyes. I'm tired and ready to throw in the towel.

Time

It has been a while since I posted, mostly because I just can't find the time/energy to get to it. BLAH. I've been really exhausted lately, and it is hard for me to keep on top of all of the clutter and mess in my house! Eric is very tired when he gets home from work and he hardly has any energy to clean up after dinner. So it leaves me with all of it, which I am glad to do, but it leaves little time for anything else! I've been so tired that I go to bed at 8:30pm. We have to get up sometimes at 5:30am to take Eric to work, so it is a bit exhausting for me. The kids haven't been napping well either, so they are cranky and needy. I am loving having Eric home for dinner, so this job schedule is actually better for me, but he was much happier at his previous job working nights. I hope he is able to get a permanent position soon. This is a post of ramblings. Gotta get ready to go to work with the girls now.

Get My Act Together

I go through periods in my life where I feel like everything is completely out of control, and I just don't have my act together. Actually, most of my life I have felt this way. It is a terrible feeling. It is mostly borne out of a feeling that I don't measure up to other women, moms, wives, Christians, people, and that I am just a terrible mess. My house is messy and unorganized, my kid is misbehaving, I'm feeling unattractive, I've got a thousand projects started and incomplete, and I'm just trying to make it through one more day. I don't want to live like that! I always say to myself, "Someday I will have my act together." but someday never comes.  God has not created me and put me on this earth to waste away my days feeling defeated or sorry for myself and my circumstances. I think it is a sick cycle that happens, and then one day I realize I have no order in my life at all. I crave perfection, although I don't think of myself as a perfectionist, maybe I am. I often won't do something if I know I can't do it perfectly. I am unsatisfied with my home unless every single place is organized, sanitized and purposeful. It has never been that way, EVER, so I constantly feel like a failure. I need to learn to accept who I am, and what I am capable of, and learn to do my best with what I have. I have a thousand things going through my mind that I want to get done in a day, and usually only about 10% actually happens--and I hate it--but I need to learn to accept it. I wish I was more organized, had better/nicer clothes and shoes to wear, was smarter and more creative, had a better memory, was better at time management,  lalalallala. I could go on and on. I sometimes feel like if people really knew how I lived, or what I thought every day they wouldn't want to know me anymore! I sometimes can't find clean underwear to wear, and sometimes my kids only get a bath once a week, sometimes I'm too tired at the end of the day to eat dinner and I go to bed hungry! I'm appalled by of it, but I have to accept it, and try my best every day. Maybe someday I will get my act together.

Bucket List-Revised

So, after thinking about it, I wanted to change one thing, I took of sew myself a dress, and replaced it with going snowshoeing. I have always wanted to go snowshoeing, and although making myself a dress would be great, it wouldn't be as memorable as going snowshoeing. I'm still trying to figure out how I will attack this list. 


1. Visit Yellowstone
2. Visit the UP in the fall
3. Visit the Grand Canyon
4. Visit every state at least once
5. Surprise my family in CA at Christmas time
6. Travel to Ireland and see Blarney Castle (this one is for my Gramps)
7. Go spelunking
8. Go white water rafting
9. Go on a horseback ride
10. Buy a house
11. Be debt free
12. Visit some of the historical sites from Laura Ingalls Wilder's life
13. Sew myself a dress   Go Snowshoeing
14. Go on a cruise
15. Visit the Holy Land
16. Ride in a hot air balloon
17. Go backpacking
18. Go Scuba Diving
19. Record a worship CD
20. Renew my wedding vows to Eric
21. Go to Disney World
22. Read the entire bible cover to cover
23. Have a self-sufficient homestead
24. Own my own home childcare
25. Be a foster parent/adopt a child
26. Write a children's book
27. Be a stay at home mom 
28. Go on a mission trip to South America
29. Volunteer in an aid project after a disaster
30. Live "off the grid"