Get My Act Together

I go through periods in my life where I feel like everything is completely out of control, and I just don't have my act together. Actually, most of my life I have felt this way. It is a terrible feeling. It is mostly borne out of a feeling that I don't measure up to other women, moms, wives, Christians, people, and that I am just a terrible mess. My house is messy and unorganized, my kid is misbehaving, I'm feeling unattractive, I've got a thousand projects started and incomplete, and I'm just trying to make it through one more day. I don't want to live like that! I always say to myself, "Someday I will have my act together." but someday never comes.  God has not created me and put me on this earth to waste away my days feeling defeated or sorry for myself and my circumstances. I think it is a sick cycle that happens, and then one day I realize I have no order in my life at all. I crave perfection, although I don't think of myself as a perfectionist, maybe I am. I often won't do something if I know I can't do it perfectly. I am unsatisfied with my home unless every single place is organized, sanitized and purposeful. It has never been that way, EVER, so I constantly feel like a failure. I need to learn to accept who I am, and what I am capable of, and learn to do my best with what I have. I have a thousand things going through my mind that I want to get done in a day, and usually only about 10% actually happens--and I hate it--but I need to learn to accept it. I wish I was more organized, had better/nicer clothes and shoes to wear, was smarter and more creative, had a better memory, was better at time management,  lalalallala. I could go on and on. I sometimes feel like if people really knew how I lived, or what I thought every day they wouldn't want to know me anymore! I sometimes can't find clean underwear to wear, and sometimes my kids only get a bath once a week, sometimes I'm too tired at the end of the day to eat dinner and I go to bed hungry! I'm appalled by of it, but I have to accept it, and try my best every day. Maybe someday I will get my act together.